It's Us

Do you ever feel like you missed your train? Like someone told you a story, but you missed half of it? You're left standing there on an empty platform, looking confused. Is ignorance truly bliss? Is there comfort in those that are unknowingly lost? Or is it better to know you are lost?

I think about the times I have felt love. True love. The kind of love you know comes without strings or without contingencies. A love that braces for every impact and strong enough to outlast any battle. A love that has no boundaries, no limits, no depths to deep for it to swim. Yet here I am, having love like that and not feeling deserving. Not embracing it.

Maybe it's because I have taken it for granted. Not realizing the love I have found to be pure and fool proof. I haven't appreciated it. I often joke about wanting immortality so I can live forever. But if I did, admiring late night talks, valuing shared meals or things as simple as good morning kisses would become worthless. The time limit we have on earth keeps those things treasured. Special.

I suppose the first step to starting this new life, would be to show more appreciation for the little things. Reminding those around me the love I have to offer and acknowledging the love they too give.

Allowing myself to not always be the life of the party, but letting myself take it all in for what it is. Finding the calm. Being the calm. It is ok to take a step back and watch from a far. Watch it all play slowly in front of me. Capturing these new moments. Cherishing the memories. But more importantly, granting myself permission to be present. The real me. 

The reassurance knowing you are there with me, hand in hand. That is more than enough. I deserve you. We deserve each other.


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